What a Waste of Self Love

What a waste isn't it? That so many of us look at ourselves on the inside, outside or through a mirror, and decide that we are not good enough.

What a waste that think others can decide that we are not pretty enough, just because you have a different size, nose, hair colour, skin colour, teeth or just are a bit different (which is what makes you so special after all).

It is even more of a waste that we decide that the other people are the ones that are correct. That they even have the right or the power over us to judge at all. Never did I realize as much as I do at this age, how much I have let others determine my worth without even consulting the most important person in my life, ME.

I have shed tears, I have shamed myself, starved myself, hated myself and wanted to be someone else, because I believed it when others said I was not enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. Not funny enough. Not skinny enough. Never enough.

When I look over my shoulder at these memories, I feel saddened that I have wasted so much time and so many chances to be kind to myself. I wish I could go back and hug that little girl, young teenager, growing woman and even me just a few days ago. Tell them, that this is not how your worth is defined. This is not how you should talk to yourself. You should love yourself. You are one of a kind. Special in not just my own way, but in every way!

When I look around me at people that have experienced these same kinds of thoughts, I want to hug them too. Tell them, that I can feel their pain. That they should never let others decide their worth, not even let me decide that. That only they should have that power and should never give this to someone else.

I don't want to waste anymore self love or kindness by letting others decide for me when I am deserving of love. Because no one else can ever tell me again, that I don't deserve to be loved.

I deserve to be loved.

And so do you.