Time to be Selfish
In everyday life it is easy for our self worth and and confidence to get tested on a daily basis. We get challenged when people have opinions about our journey, our current situation or hopes and dreams. All of this happens even without social media in the picture.
When social media comes out to play, it is incredibly easy to start feeling like shit when you see all the overly filtered posts on there. This effect makes us doubt ourselves endlessly, making us think we have not accomplished enough, aren’t talented enough, pretty, skinny, you name it.
When this ball of negative thoughts starts rolling, it is hard to make it stop as just one person against your own brain. Let’s be honest, it’s not easy. It doesn’t work to just say ‘think happy thoughts’ and all of your difficult thoughts and feelings just go away. However, there is a certain foundation of truth in that statement. The way you are thinking has a lot of influence on how you are feeling, which in turn can affect what you are doing.
“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Let's see it this way. When you think negative, the circle can easily look like this.
‘I have not done anything productive today’ - ‘this makes me feel like a shitty person’ - ‘feeling like a shitty person makes me want to do nothing because I am upset’ - You do nothing because of that feeling, making you think again, I have not done anything so I am shit.
Although these thoughts in itself are shit, instead of you being shit for doing nothing, this circle is easy to fall into.
Trying to form more positive thoughts (keyword trying, we can’t all just press a button and feel like happy Sally at once), can look more like this.
‘I have been able to do one thing off of my to do list today, not a lot, but I am glad to have done one thing’ - ‘it is good to feel glad, maybe I want to do more, if not I still feel relatively okay’ - ‘maybe I do one more, or I take rest because that is what I need’ - This makes me feel more positive and supportive of myself and my own needs.
The smallest changes can makes the biggest differences. When we shift our focus from solely the negative to something more positive or kinder to ourselves as a person. We are able to feel more lightly, more happy, more accomplished and proud of ourselves. Because really, we are already being way too hard on ourselves too much most of the time anyways.
These types of changes take time, practice, willpower and it takes us trying it again and again. Even at our lowest points. You can start by telling yourself or writing down once a day what you are proud of doing that day or are thankful for.
Don’t ever give up on yourself. Keep coming back after every battle, no matter how big or small. You owe it to yourself.